December 30, 2006
Challenges of varied natures and from unforeseen paths have startled me and bind me to a testing ground of strength and wisdom.
After a 5 hour bus ride from the city of Leon to Xichu I was elated to finally arrive at Lola's cottage. It was a festive reception with visiting family and friends who were already eating the recently cooked pig. Lola's oldest daughter sat me down and served me some beans and placed a plate of "carnitas" for me to help myself. I met Lola's mother and oldest son Marino who was visiting with his wife Concha and 4 children from the City of Mexico. We enjoyed small conversations and everyone wanted to know how Javier the others were doing. I shared as much as I could and as I spoke I noticed that Lola was crying throughout.
The men left the room and eventually it was all women telling stories about the past including the drama of finding and battling a Cobra snake that invaded the house. When pregnant and only in her early 20's Lola's mother described the mysterious unremovable tear that glistened on Lola's right eye. Up to this day Lola's mother calls that tear a foreshadowing of Lola's husband's sudden death. Lola's as Widow had 9 children, no money and only her physical strength at about 4' 5 and 110 lbs to seek work. It was not long after the birth of her 10th child that Lola began accepting a drink "for courage".
Concha asked about the videoconference? how does it work? I shared the excitement of bringing Lola to Leon where there is a video cafe named Liberty Cafe with a high speed connection. She will sit in front of the screen of my new MAC Power Book while her children in the U.S. will be sitting before another screen. Much to my surprise, Lola's mother shared that during her last visit to Mexico a young woman friend of her son set up a video screen visit for her and another son (both Lola's brothers) in the United States. She spoke with such ease and comfort as she described the little camera on the screen and clicking on the little button to respond in conversation.
I could not help to wonder how different Lola and her mother are in demeanor. Lola was quite inebriated by the late afternoon and cried miserably into the night. Lola's mother was warm and calm seemingly not surprised or upset by her daughter's state. The little boy by her side in the picture is her autistic grandson. She lovingly describes his playful response to sound and his ability to hear the bus coming down the road miles away. By the end of the day all family and friends left for their home.
At midnight I was ready to sleep, I entered Lola's room where I would sleep on 1 of 3 beds. A strong smell of mold filled the room. In over 3 years the rains caused great damage to the ceiling and I grew more concerned over Lola's chronic cough and endless hacking that physically binds her and leaves her breathless and tired. I asked if she had X-rays taken she said yes and the doctors advised that she stop cooking over a wood fed fire, her exposer to smoke over the years has affected her lungs. No tuberculosis was found but she does have asthma. She shared that Javier has recently sent her medicine with another family friend who was also set to arrive in Xichu.
New Years Eve
I thought the next morning would come with a sober Lola but I had yet to see how bad things are in this little Xichu cottage. Last year's happy "ready to go" nature seems buried and can't find a way out of Lola's depressed hole. She has maintained an inebriated state that made it impossible for any interview worth sharing with anyone much less her adult children. Her eyes are cloudy with sorrow and she can't make sense of her surroundings. Her visiting Son Marino and daughter in law Concha have taken it upon themselves to help keep up their mother's home while they are visiting. Marino cleans up around the house, feeds the pigs and helps in the fields. Lola's partner Don Juve is visibly disgruntled by her inability to do her share of the work in the fields and especially with not being attended to during meals.
I asked Lola how she felt about the Videoconference set up for January 6. She expressed how torn she is at the thought of seeing and speaking with her adult children without being able to touch then. She looked at me with a pleading sadness to not make her go through such an experience. My only hope of making her see this in a positive light was by taking her into town and having her call Javier to share her fears. She did not want to talk about this with him but I insisted and hoped that hearing his voice would make her want to see him.
We entered the little telephone station and the operator notified Lola that Javier already called and asked that she call as soon as she came into town. After a long phone session with Javier I took Lola onto the the festive streets where we found a nice corner food stand with the most delicious "gorditas, I must have had at least 4 and Lola's improved morale allowed her to enjoy 3 in-spite of her resistance. The new year's eve activities were refreshing and I managed to get Lola to enjoy the music and decorations before we returned to her home.
I enjoyed these animated dolls that must have taken hours to create. The Makeup and clothes were fabulous and they filled me with a much needed delightful reminder that this is suppose to be fun!
Before we headed back Lola asked me to wait while she prayed in Xichu's local church. I made peace with Lola's inebriation and her subsequent fears. Although I am not a religious person, I find that forgiving my own father for his alcoholism has rewarded me with a refreshing ability to enjoy and feel compassion for all people who enter my life. Perhaps I am here just to serve not by setting up a Videoconference but to just be of some support to Lola during my short visit. I decided to leave early on new years day to be with my family in Leon.
January 1, 2007
In the morning I spoke to Marino for advice and support on a final decision regarding the Videoconference. He promised to do all he and his wife Concha could to help Lola sober up. On thursday January 4th Marino will call me at my sister's home in Leon and give me the news as to whether or not I should take my 5 hour bus trip to pick up Lola for the Videoconference. He will either send her on the bus to San Luis De La Paz bus station where I will be waiting for her or he will drive her himself to Leon on his way back to the City with his wife Concha and his kids.
Alma
On January 4th I worked several hours here at the Liberty Cafe as I prepared for a perfect BREEZE videoconference scheduled for January 6, 1:00 Leon Gto. Mexico time and 11:00 a.m. California Bay Area time.The Cafe is not a cool artsy type of place rather it markets itself as a corporate type environment with great service to match :). Between the hours of 1:00 to 7:00 I experimented with various possible approaches to holding this International videoconference. My fellow geek friend Valerie Landau worked with me from Alameda in California's Bay Area. 
On January 7th I was ready to explore new towns in Mexico. In the spirit of true love for growth and knowledge I brought my two youngest nieces Elda and Natalie along with me.
